Lately I have been finding myself wanting to be alone. Wanting to distance myself from most people. avoiding phone calls, texts, and gatherings, anything that could lead me into talking to people. But I never made the effort to ease that situation by explaining. The truth is that I just plain want my space. You don't need to know everything about me and my life, and I don't need to know about yours. I don't need to see you all the time or hear from you all the time to feel that you care about me, or to know that you're alive and well.
Things have really changed for me. So much that I feel like a different person. And this is one of those things. I have other interests, the kind that most people would probably find dull or stupid, or whatever their perceptions tell them. And now that I have begun pursuing these new interests, many people have realized that there is no longer any point in talking to me, because I am of no interest or use to them. Thankfully, the feeling is mutual, as I am naturally moving further and further away from most people.
I need this space, mainly because I need a lot of time to myself, to figure certain things out, and to do the things I need to do in order to move forward, something I never took the trouble to do before. Which is why I must add that I may not always be this distant. Things change. Often and fast. So expect nothing, and think nothing, for this is an important stage in my life, and I hope that you can respect that, and grant me the space, and more importantly the support and understanding that I ask of you.
No, I am not going through some major ordeal. No, there is nothing wrong. In fact, things are finally going right, and I can finally say from the bottom of my heart, that I am happy. But there are many scars and wounds yet to be healed, and the damage must be dealt with. Even the little things that seemed insignificant changed my life, even those things need to be put into perspective. Everything I have ever been told is a lie. And now I'm figuring out the truth for myself. Because who else on earth can you rely on at the end of the day? The only person you will ever find staying with you from your birth to your death and beyond is you.
After you learn how to crawl, you start learning to walk. You don't sit on your ass all day because it's easier than having to learn how to walk, you get up and try. Because you know that if you don't learn to walk, you won't be able to run. And I'm not here to sit on my ass. I'm not here to crawl, nor am i here to walk along. I am here to run. I'm here to "run with the wolves" (as a certain someone put it). And you know what? Nothing and no one is going to get in my way.
Thank you for your valuable time.
