Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the freakshow!

This empty space beside me
Brings a sigh to my breast.
But I know deep down
That you are still with me.
The hope in my soul
Can never die,
Because the bond that we share
Is unbreakable,
Solid,
Yet ever-evolving
Into the timeless
Now.

Freedom!
Awareness is
Self-aware!
Moving so fast
That it
Blinks
In and out
Of being.
Travelling
Everywhere
At once.
Time is
An illusion.
All there is
Is

Have you ever watched something burn?
It glows bright and red,
Then flickers into a dull crispy shadow.
Does it seem that something remains?
Touch it, as delicately, as gently as you can.
What happens?
The shadow, all that remains,
Fades away
Into
Nothingness…

Did I mention that you inspire me?

The taste
Is bitter sweet.
The irony
Is a joke in itself.
If nothing be wasted,
Then what has become
Of this?

You choke
On the seeds of your choices.
The scars
Remain on your skin.
Like a disease.

The life-giving blood
Is drained,
Now giving death.
And all that is left
Is controlled folly.
But what folly
Can be found
In the cold dead eyes
Of an other?

www.anandavala.info/

from this site: "This work touches upon many subjects from the perspectives of System Science and Ancient Wisdom. It pivots upon four fundamental questions:
What am I?
What is the world?
What is happening?
What can be done?

This work utilises the parallels between information theory, system theory, quantum theory and mystic metaphysics, and results in a mathematically based scientific-spiritual-engineering paradigm"

www.arkofawareness.com/

from this site: "The images at this website are multilevel illustrations of some of the key realizations needed to spark the new awareness in the awakening mind and to begin the construction of the ark of awareness."
some truly captivating artwork and accessible info on awakening

www.thesynthetistmission.com/

from this site: "The search is on for a new type of being that has begun to emerge from amidst the human species. Latest reports indicate that they have begun to set up systems of teaching and training that enable others with the potential to access and enter their perceptual paradigm to do so too. They appear to be engaged in an intense search for others like themselves as they link up with each other to form a network that covers the planet."
some really useful articles and information are available as well

It's nice to think about. Holding your hand. Waking up beside you. Watching you sleep, as creepy as that may sound. I love the way you smell. Even when you're all hot and sweaty. The way you purse your lips when you're playing guitar. The way you suddenly realize I'm watching you and say, "What?!" with a smile. The way you laugh when someone says something ridiculous, and the way you look at me when you're thinking something dirty...

It's not just about being in your life. It's about seeing you live it. I'd still be happy if I had to live all my life outside your world, but watching you every step of the way. You wouldn't know it, but I'd be walking beside you and whispering in your ear all the things I so badly want to say to you. It's mad but tears are springing to my eyes right now as if there's something wrong. Or are these tears of joy? Joy because I can be happy knowing that I AM in your life, and I always will be. Joy because even if I never see you again, you're still with me. And we will never part. Not even in death.

The truth is, it isn't easy. It's not easy to be so far away, and it's not easy to be right by your side. Because the thing about you is, you're a question I can't answer. And I guess that's not such a bad thing except that it worries me sometimes. Not knowing. Not knowing anything at all. The idea of seeing you walk away, the idea of not seeing you walk away, the idea of living a life... like this... it's not easy. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that what I see is not an illusion. Because this is the most real thing I know. The only thing that makes me feel truly at home. And that's why I say you're my home. The only home I've ever really known.

I may just sound like a lovesick fool, but it's really not that simple (though I'm glad it's not). There's just no sense in living a life that you're not in. What would life be like without hearing "P? Bernadette??" every once in a while? Or listening to all the recordings together (see see, you're a charter bugger)? Who would I get manyafied with, nyummies?!

It's weird not fighting over who does the dishes. It's weird eating chocolate alone. It's weird going to the loo without wondering if you'll suddenly barge in... When my phone beeps, my heart leaps because I think it's you, you're the only one who messages me usually, but it rarely is. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel sickened by the fact that I can't call you. I get a full night's rest instead! Going to work every morning just doesn't feel all that worth it when there's no one to lie down next to and slack off with.

Remember going on The Scrambler? You said you were afraid of heights, but you still had fun. And playing pool at that weird place where you nearly got into a fight with some guy? Very gallant of you. I remember seeing you for the first time since you'd returned, and jumping on you in front of everyone. I didn't care, what mattered was that I was home again. But nothing beats the memory of being held while you sang to me with so much love in your voice that it only made me cry harder. If I were to go on listing all the memories that pop up in my head, I would never stop writing. The life I've had with you has been nothing but magical. Blissful every step of the way, despite the rough patches and detours. I wouldn't trade a single moment of our life together, not even for all the Universe. We've discovered so many new things together, learnt and overcome so much...

Being away from you has actually helped me to understand you better. To appreciate you for all that you are, no matter how weird, no matter how difficult to deal with or figure out... It's made me see that you are the most beautiful creature I've ever met on God's green earth and beyond. You have made me so happy over the past two years, and you've given me the best memories of my life. And I hope with all my heart that we're going to keep making memories together for the rest of eternity.

I can't say that it'll always just be you and me, but I do hope that it will be. I like the way we work, and I really feel I've found what I've been looking for. I found it in someone whose heart is open enough to accept me for my deepest darkest secrets, and all my madness and weirdness. And I'm forever grateful to you for that. Love may not exist, but what we have is something that reaches far beyond the confines of mortal language. In our world, my heart is yours and yours alone. No one could ever have me the way you do. Separation is indeed the biggest illusion man could ever believe, but I've never come closer to oneness than I have with you.

Sometimes I do need to remind myself that you're always with me, but the fact is that you being so far away does make all the difference. So I'm waiting. Waiting until I can feel your arms around me again. Waiting until the South and West winds return. Waiting until I can go back home... Waiting.

Lately I have been finding myself wanting to be alone. Wanting to distance myself from most people. avoiding phone calls, texts, and gatherings, anything that could lead me into talking to people. But I never made the effort to ease that situation by explaining. The truth is that I just plain want my space. You don't need to know everything about me and my life, and I don't need to know about yours. I don't need to see you all the time or hear from you all the time to feel that you care about me, or to know that you're alive and well.

Things have really changed for me. So much that I feel like a different person. And this is one of those things. I have other interests, the kind that most people would probably find dull or stupid, or whatever their perceptions tell them. And now that I have begun pursuing these new interests, many people have realized that there is no longer any point in talking to me, because I am of no interest or use to them. Thankfully, the feeling is mutual, as I am naturally moving further and further away from most people.

I need this space, mainly because I need a lot of time to myself, to figure certain things out, and to do the things I need to do in order to move forward, something I never took the trouble to do before. Which is why I must add that I may not always be this distant. Things change. Often and fast. So expect nothing, and think nothing, for this is an important stage in my life, and I hope that you can respect that, and grant me the space, and more importantly the support and understanding that I ask of you.

No, I am not going through some major ordeal. No, there is nothing wrong. In fact, things are finally going right, and I can finally say from the bottom of my heart, that I am happy. But there are many scars and wounds yet to be healed, and the damage must be dealt with. Even the little things that seemed insignificant changed my life, even those things need to be put into perspective. Everything I have ever been told is a lie. And now I'm figuring out the truth for myself. Because who else on earth can you rely on at the end of the day? The only person you will ever find staying with you from your birth to your death and beyond is you.

After you learn how to crawl, you start learning to walk. You don't sit on your ass all day because it's easier than having to learn how to walk, you get up and try. Because you know that if you don't learn to walk, you won't be able to run. And I'm not here to sit on my ass. I'm not here to crawl, nor am i here to walk along. I am here to run. I'm here to "run with the wolves" (as a certain someone put it). And you know what? Nothing and no one is going to get in my way.

Thank you for your valuable time.

You are me and I am you.
What are we now going to do?
Head towards a new direction,
Onward bound this Love connection.
Listen close and listen well,
Much is said and yet to tell.
See, discover, watch, explore
The timeless now forever more.
Search within for God and Heaven,
Bring to light what you've been given.
Hold in hand my soul and yourse,
End forever all the wars.
Together now, forever be,
I am you and you are me.

Inside me I have seen a light,
Shining brilliant, ever so bright.
Open the windows of the being,
And shine beyond what you are seeing.
Nevermore a drifter be,
The light reveals what I must see.
Blessed are those that listen much,
For they can thusly shine as such.
Pulsing through your every vein,
Wash away the filthy stains.
Not a beggar, not a king,
You are now the Everything.
Precious is your every step,
Forever within, now never forget.

How empowering it is to be alone! It is a time for reflection and answers; a time for communion and growth. Conscious growth...

What beauty we deny ourselves in our constructed lives, out of fear or mere ignorance. Deep down within all of us, there is a thirst for truth, a purpose, our own place in this infinite universe...

I hope that some day, we'll all be able to open our hearts, eyes, and minds, and discover each other for the love and light that we are, always have been, and will be forevermore...